Been trying to find balance lately, I’m not trying to overdo anything. I’m just trying to take one day at a time. Trying to do what’s right. I’m especially thankful for my friends lately. It’s crazy how even if I have friends that I go weeks, sometimes even months, without talking to each other we can just meet up and it’s like nothing’s changed. We’re still good friends and we continue to grow with one another. I’m happy to know that. I feel like I get stressed out sometimes when I feel like I’m losing friends, but who doesn’t? I mean if you care a lot about someone then you should care if you lose them right? Well it just seems that if there’s people in my life who just avoid me or don’t even really care about how I’m doing, or just ignore conversation with me then I can’t really force them to care. I feel like I try really hard to connect with those I care for so when the feeling isn’t reciprocated I get kinda sad, but I guess I should just get the hint. I feel like I have all the right people in my life right now, and if people wanna jump ship then that’s just their decision. I shouldn’t stress over these things anymore, I should just be used to the fact that people leave. I would just wish them happiness, wherever they go. I know everything’s not meant to be perfect all the time, but yeah…balance…I’m just trying to find balance.
I wish you were still here for her. I wish time hadn’t taken you from her. I hope that wherever you are, that you are happy.
I feel like closing myself off to those who treat me like I’m disposable. Or those who take me for granted and just think it’s okay to use me. I feel like I don’t owe anyone anything. I give my love and my kindness, take it or leave it. No looking back after that.
Wish I could see you one more time.
Kinda really just wanna have rough sex followed by cuddling and watching Pulp Fiction right now…